I Had to Hitch His Load Of Hay

I Had To Hitch His Load Of Hay

I had to hitch his load of hay

Up to a tractor for the ride

That wasn’t done the proper way,

Albeit, even though I tried.

The farmer who had hired me

Was waiting to see what I’d do

Because he’d get his kicks to see

Just what I didn’t know he knew.

The tractor was the kind you had

To start up with a crank you turned

While being a “big-city” lad

The hang of it I hadn’t learned. 

It kept on “kicking back” and so

I had to take my hand away

Or else I’d get a smarting blow

For a split-second of delay.

Meanwhile he kept on looking in

Amusement at his hired hand,

And kept on smirking with a grin

Because I wasn’t in command.

But once the engine started I

Got up onto the tractor seat

And pulled the stick to drive it by

A pedal underneath my feet.

I hadn’t driven down the road

A bit before the farmer yelled

Because the wagon with its load

The tractor hadn’t even held.

I heard the farmer give a yell

To curse me out unhappily—

You are the dumbest cannibal

I ever had a chance to see!