Mugging In Turtle Bay

I took a fare one summer day

Along down Second Avenue

Until, on reaching Turtle Bay,

On me it was a gun he drew.

He wanted to take all I made

By pulling out this little gun

When I attempted to persuade

It isn’t what ought to be done.

Albeit he was not impressed

With any kind of argument;

No matter what I did suggest

He had his criminal intent.

“But let us split the difference:

Take half!” to him is all I said,

Albeit—I should not convince

Him, glaring as he did instead.

And seeing that the gun he had

Began to shake more than a bit,

I didn’t want to make him mad,

And told him, just take all of it.

I wished him a nice day beside,

Considering “discretion was

The better part of valor”, tried

My best not to make any fuss

About what really bothered me,

(Refusing as he would to share)

Which showed that criminality

Of his was what it was—unfair!

And so when I got home that day,

Outside of having the last laugh,

My rights infringed, I had my say,

By saying: “Split it, you take half!”